Monday, August 31, 2009

range: soft target


on ambush and down the hill and hurt tumbles
teeth and earth and fist hard hurt on us
the earth and hurt and ambush down the hill
stomp on concrete ambush skyward earth and
teeth and ambush out of breath and ambush
confronts our death and ambush catches us
watch the hills now for overwhelming ambush


Friday, August 28, 2009

y: triple dog dare


Whose turn to feed the dog--
Who went way down there?
I hear the dinner bell--
The water's cold and clear.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

asphalt jasper: metal sunshine

metal sunshine

when the rain turns
to bat and butterfly
bleating lamb and
monster in the moat

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

handed men: dirty tricks

Hey all you handed men fans, the long-awaited lyrics to "Mr. Diddle Do" are here. Get your chant on:

Mr. Diddle do no work for FBI,
But he on you like a spy.

Mr. Diddle do nothing good,
But still you shouldn't lie.

Mr. Diddle do your face,
And you prefer it soon erased.

Mr. Diddle do no acquital,
And you must go without.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
Mr. Diddle do Mr. Diddle do.

And there're also new versions of "pop kids pop" and "grinder monkey grinder," but you'll love "shoelace escape."

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


This album has so many urban legends associated with it that people forget that BIGFOOT is a rural legend. Mistakes abound. Too many mistakes. Time for some correcting.

This album does not have a version of the "Uga-Chuga" song on it. No one from Doctor Hook and the Medicine Show performed on this album. (Whether or not Slash of Guns N' Roses fame modeled his look on Dr. Hook isn't a question to be answered here.)There is a song on this album entitled "Run Away," but it's not to be confused "Runaway Sister" or "Sister Runaway"--if, indeed, there are actually songs with those titles.

When it first hit the market, this album was most famous for a hootenanny called "Shredded on the Trotline When Melvin Gunned the Boat Engine," a song that received a lot of radio play. Personally, the song grossed me out--"Give my liver to fish," yuck!

But critics have returned to this album for something called wavesonic present in such tracks as "Chainsaw Fiddler," "Clucked the Robot Chicken," and "Get the Dodge Out of Hell."

In other words, there's evidence on this album that rural thrash does exist "In a drainpipe with a tin awning."

But wait! If you think BIGFOOT is reason enough that you might risk your life by running away from the Walking Boss, you'll love the cover tune, "BIGFOOT MEETS INDUSTRIAL ORANGE":

Down the highway in your orange PJs, picking up trash,
When along comes BIGFOOT, holy shit! When along comes BIGFOOT!
Run now Industrial Orange, what are the bloodhounds going to do?
Don't stop for the Walking Boss, even if he threatens to shoot you.

Yes, BIGFOOT's nasty big. Get it running in your collection.

music for funeral homes: heaven's toilet

What could be more comforting to the deceased's loved ones than music from heaven? The sound of the lyre, the sound of the brook, the twitter of birds at sunrise? Look no further than heaven's toilet as my plumber friend, Ren Chimer, used to say. And here it is from music for funeral homes: heaven's toilet.

Anticipate the majesty of the final flush.

Monday, August 24, 2009

clinical tree

lightning strike

in the smoldering, in the flame
in the choke, in the sizzle
who's to blame for this ruin?

Friday, August 21, 2009


the god of leeches absent
the god of tick
the god of worm and moss

rustles next a stream
leaf leaving leaf leaving

now at full bore the orchestra
burst dam water rushes forth

stone's thrown overstone
stepping leaf the blowing

the god of no bird no song
the god of the silent
the god of pause still absent

Thursday, August 20, 2009

arf arf

minty fresh zombie

When you're getting a bite taken out of your neck or out of your frontal lobe or out of your belly, do you really want to have to vomit in your mouth? I don't think so. You'd rather your zombie had minty fresh breath, not the usual maggot mucus stench that reeks unto death.

Well, be sure to buy this album, which comes with a lifetime/lifelesstime zombie bite guarantee of minty fresh breath. Even if you don't like tunes such as "that my tooth" and "aching tango," you'll at least be able to fend off a corpse-chomping zombie with the "no bad breath" sticker contained herein.

Just stay away from the zombie dentist office.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

single dot theory

what it's like to be average
what it's like to be one

how warm it is in the middle
almost nine minutes to the sun

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


cold champagne in the heel,
girl you are beautiful,
calves above your ankles

Monday, August 17, 2009

suicide clown

Get up, my hair like a dog,
Roll over,
I've slept through another job.
My mother was 123.
My father, 456.
They didn't expect me
To get away.
I've learned another trick.
Who owns the sofa?
Circle around the block.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Saturday, August 15, 2009


Having worked in construction until they were all deaf, the
great donglers of earth movement present the following:

1) Keerchuug
2) Varoom
3) Tshchng-Tshchang
4) Kerverund
5) Krrnchk
6) Vavavavavava
7) Berdapluwn
8) Kchkchkchkchkch
9) Lutzshi
10) Zasztoon
11) Verplitzen
12) Grggupizst
13) Kronischdirget
14) Fertiplitzescht

Friday, August 14, 2009


What's a shadow in a sea
The madness thickening

Oyster she fishing trout
The sky a shade between

Whose envy whose doubt
Whose envy whose doubt

Lead in in her sharp smock
To court disaster but tough

What's a shadow in a sea
The madness thickening

Thursday, August 13, 2009

nameless: name

I met a girl at the office
But what's her name?

I met a girl at school
But what's her name?

But what's her name?

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

the p.u.r.r.r.s. - hold the tiger

rymas quebbeman and his fiery combo are ready to sink their sonic jaws into your - so tasty - throbbing gristles... the avengers of rock'n'roll garage are back!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Hobnail Ballet: Spiked

After several solo escapades of the band members, Hobnail Ballet announced their long awaited new studio release. 'Spiked' explores an eclectic diversity of styles and genres ranging from quirky urban techno to voluptuous jazz to haunting covers of international megahits. The group's trademark - obscure ancient and ethnic instruments woven with silken vocals and irrestistable percussion - returns. Only now the group incorporates even more diverse instruments, including automobile parts, animal bones, recycled wine bottles, and the African Kora, an ancient form of instrument with 21 strings.

Infused with an infectious offbeat optimism, these tracks break new ground in fracturing urban rhythms, surpassing even the rhythmic diversity of their debut album, 'Graceless Angels' and compelling the listener to motion, to dance. How will the band translate these beats in their newly announced live performances? Fans and critics alike are 'spiked' with anticipation.

Steve Wing & Dorothee Lang

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Good Senator: Mister Fox

Not that it works anymore, but the A side is for children, and the B side is for adults.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Overclock: gauge

The album that gives "pressure gauge" metallic meaning. Love the sound of airhoses escaping across the garage? Especially the shrill explode of the whistle? Love the sound of a ball-peen hammer on concrete? Love the sound of wrenches richoting in the back of a pick-up? Overclock invented jackhammer thrash, and with gauge, Overclock reinvents it garage, as in environmental. Skiz!

Thursday, August 6, 2009


Cover de Benita Bécquer por cipollinaaaaa

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Wallace Franklin: Me and My Tribe

Best known for its ability to militarize nature, Wallace Franklin has returned to the music scene with Me and My Tribe. Wallace Franklin classics such as "Geese in Missing Man Formation," "Alpha Foxtrot Vector," "Mop Up with Sparrows," and "Log Moss for Breakfast" are here with all new versions. But if you are a Wallace Franklin fan, you will love new the new tunes, especially "Deer Disguise" and "Eagle Dawn Dawn." And yes, all the tunes have the patented Wallace Franklin owl hoot. You'll love this album.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Kill Granny: Medicate Me

Washington D.C. alternative rock band Kill Granny has just
released their latest album Medicate Me. Having recently been
fired by their label, U.S.A. Productions, the album was
self-produced on a very limited budget and recorded in a small
studio in the D.C. area.

Sadly, Kill Granny's limited resources are quite evident on this
album. The tracks are cliche and transparent. The music is
uninspired and seems to have been borrowed from previous

It seems that Kill Granny's stock in trade of attempting to shock
their audience has become far too predictable. This is an album
that nobody is buying.

Whisker: Schizo Hell

What? Who me?
What unwanted?
What? Who me?

You bought it!
You bought it!
You bought it!

What? Who me?
What unwanted?
What? Who me?

Teething at the light,
Frothing of delight!
Teething at the light,
Frothing of delight!

What? Who me?
What unwanted?
What? Who me?

You bought it!
You bought it!
You bought it!

Night in its gown
Makes a little clown.
Show me before--
All silent.

What? Who me?
What unwanted?
What? Who me?

All silent.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Sunday, August 2, 2009

nicolette: Nicolette Unscrubbed

Featuring three smash hits--"Damn It, I Spilled Again," "That's My T-Shirt," and "You Jerk"--Nicolette Unscrubbed has more treasure in store for tune hunters than all of Treasure Island. There's "Who's Your Pretty Princess Now?", "Bend Over So I Can Kick Your Ass," and "What Warrant?" But there's more: there's "Take the Trash Out When You Leave" and "I Ain't Your Momma, Loser" and "Love Me Get Out." And more!

You can bet Nicolette gives "found art" a whole new musical meaning when she empties out her kitchen cabinets in "Looking." And she proves just as adroit with a set of kitchen silverware as she is with a guitar. It's music from murderer's row the likes of which we haven't heard in some time.

Roll over Janis Joplin. Rock and roll it out!

Squeezing: Portrait in Lemony

The album featuring the smash hit, "The Dog Stole Her Soap," Portrait in Lemony began with a question about flavored coffee.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Hotter: The Children's Furnace

Hansel and Gretel
Went on a walk

Not seeing the sky,
They started to talk

Forgetting the bread,
The peebles, the chalk

Meanwhile, their stepmother
Tells tales against them

In her oven, in her oven
In her oven, in her oven

Now there's no way home,
Their own mother gone

The warm hut ahead
Smells of baked good

No good burned in her oven,
But now she loves them

In her oven, in her oven
In her oven, in her oven

The bones of children
Lost to their parents

Remain of the past
The wicked witch knows

A good dish with her nose
Smells of children

Feeds them fresh apple
Like pig on a spit

Lost in the woods,
Only now she loves them

In her oven, in her oven
In her oven, in her oven

mayflower: The Founding Fathers

People are waiting in line
To get their government checks
I got mine in the new program
For space exploration

I'm going far away
To found my own country
And I have named
My spaceship mayflower

I have a contract
If the crew members will honor it
And I have a plan
To send home for oxygen

In this program I will explore
My own space
For now I am waiting in line
For my government check

Fire Island Jam - The Last Boys of Summer '79

Recorded during the glory days of the Gay Liberation Movement,
Fire Island Jam's The Last Boys of Summer '79 is a forgotten disco

With covers of songs like Thelma Houston's "Saturday Night, Sunday
Morning," Sister Sledge's "He's the Greatest Dancer," and Earth,
Wind, and Fire's "September," Fire Island Jam were on their way to
becoming the hottest gay disco cover band in the United States.

Sadly, The Last Boys of Summer '79 was the last album recorded by
the group. Lead singer Dinah Cancer left to pursue a career in New
York City politics and they soon lost their contract with Camp

The remaining members were quickly resigned by K-Tel, but the
label wanted them to change their image in order to be more
marketable to mainstream consumers. The band refused to "go back
into the closet" and after a bitter contract dispute with K-Tel
they lost the right to use the band name.

blue spice: hot flash

I'm old, I'm young
My face is melting

There's a sweat line
Beading on my lip

Quick--I need a sip
Of your cold chiller

Careful cause that
Pepper can kill you

I'm old, I'm young
My face is melting

Careful cause that
Pepper can kill you