Thursday, December 31, 2009
emergency nowhere is out to take you for a ride. Indeed, with a list of seventy-eight titles, this album from emergency nowhere (current title pending) wants to take you on many a ride. Sometimes, though, the rides are brief and unfulfilling (a couple of the eight second tunes work), and sometimes the rides last a little too long ("garbage disposal banjo" almost works). Whatever the case, after you've heard, "chasing it," you'll know you've been there, been to that particular nowhere. First, however, get your prescription filled--take a listen to "un": "laughter, I'm choking, and never stop knowing, an accidental morgue."
Monday, December 28, 2009
It's the dessert you can't see. It's licorice ice cream in coffee. It's the listen that treats you to unexpected surprise. That's right, by using code compilations, these tunes morph before your ears. A multitudinous cacophony symphonic, you won't hear the same tune more than once in a hundred listens. Listen again and again. It's OK. It's not the same song over and over. It's over and over a song.
1) hit the brakes and burn rubber
2) cerberus by another name
5) fits and smarts
6) teeth trap
8) frost asphalt
9) garbage truck alphabet
10) clock raw
11) spoon jam
12) finger drill
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
crunchy heart apple returns with their cruelest album cover image yet: a bird devouring the worm in your heart. Yes, healeris all about the pain of realizing the disease and eradicating it with the help of pigeons, canaries, or any bird you can find at your local pet store. Any bird capable of flight, that is.
Mr. Butterscotch, formely Birdie, will guide you down the path to health with such tunes as "bird bath cleansing," "public fountain freedom," and "naked joy." But don't forget "high up in the clouds" and "birds can help you."
And these tunes are just helf the album. The other half is your "flight to freedom" where you will learn your cleansing "coo." So, chirp along.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Merry Elvmas is a classic Elvis Christmas album with classic Christmas songs done as only Elvis could do them redone by Famous Album Cover artists (mostly). Yes, you will thrill to hear Christmas tunes done by Elvis redone by Famous Album Cover artists. Just consider it the musical equivalent of Jim Carrey portraying Andy Kaufman. It's all about sytle.
Santa Claus Is Back In Town - Edvard Just Knows
White Christmas - The XRays
Here Comes Santa Claus (Right Down Santa Claus Lane) - String
I'll Be Home For Christmas - Before We Get Too Waco
Blue Christmas - The Blue Eels
Santa Bring My Baby Back (To Me) - Crik
O Little Town Of Bethlehem - Oliver and the Otters
Medley - Benita Becquer and the Fashionettes
(There'll Be) Peace In The Valley (For Me) - Bigfoot Meets Industrial Orange
I Believe - Runaway Train Engineers
Take My Hand, Precious Lord - Tin Drum
It Is No Secret (What God Can Do) - Vapor Mints
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
when you're sleeping
assert the fog
bridges glass the ice
while fish the lost
handle a sleeping
name the ear
when you're sleeping
a panic calm
Sunday, December 13, 2009
If you are looking for tr bl, here it is.
Sometimes, you might not be sure what tr bl is: a garbage truck, a baby in its crib. But take home tr bl now, and give it a listen. You might learn to like it.
What was that? Did someone just break the brand new jar of pickles?
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
After a brief study of Edmund Husserl, Jeremy Polk decided to ponder the proverb, "Beauty is only skin deep." He concluded: "Beauty is always only surface, even if that surface is an index."
None of his friends was sure what he meant, but his friends were happy to join his band, The X Rays. They were not, however, sure what Jeremy was doing when he brought brought a children's sandbox, sand included, to the recording garage along with handbells, steel hammers, mallets, wire, BBs, and lots of variously sized glass bottles and spoons, but his friends played along and were happy to produce this album, mostly.
Among its many surpises, the tunes on this album feature the musky-husky of Trixy Tam Tam, best known for her pop hit, "Baby." Trixy does an "O Baby" that out-Barries Barry White. If her voice turns you on, you will get a charge out of "Ingredients," a tune where she reads labels.
Check it out. "Day and Night" will Alaska for you.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Like the hee-haw twang of Country and Western, but want more twang and less homegrown in your lyrics? Here it is: green rustic, a band full of piss and vinegar that offers you a shot glass full of sin.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
In a world where off-the-shelf training is comptuer or video oriented, Whisper Training continues on with audio only. Their barely whispered instructions will propel you to the next level in whatever it is you're being instructed, and this time, it's oil painting. Listen closely.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Lyricist Ann Hitchins of Tyler Rose realized when she was getting her Masters in English that "sometimes the sign is way bigger than the thing signified." Hence, when she sat down to write the tunes for Commemorative Edition, she had a lot to work with.
"Big Loud Mufflers on My Pick-Up Truck," "All You Can Eat Pizza Buffet," and "Speed Boat for My Swimming Pool" are just a few of the Texas tales she versifies. My first favorite is "Salesman of the Month, Salesman of the Year, Salesman of the Century," a song about a year she spent at a car dealership. But "Trophy Club" and "The Collection" are right up there.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Inspired by Warrant and White Snake and INXS, but also by Guns 'n Roses and Nirvana, craternsake produced this album as big hair rock for the wedding reception. It's a style about thirty years out of date, but it's killer.
Check "Wag that Italian Wedding Cake in My Face" and "Let's Watch the Vomit-in-the- Porsche Scene from Caddyshack."
turbia is filled with laughter and lament.
There's "brained damaged brother": "after one beer, the server/cuts him off/can't have another/dear God, my brain/my brain damaged brother/slurs his words and stutters/be careful drinking/with my brain damaged brother."
There's "slinky": "sometimes we get kinky/when the kids leave the house."
There's also "jello tub rub," "fun with cheap costumes," "General LeMay," "ant bed bombing run," "not the recommended usage," and "scare me."
Welcome to turbia.
Friday, October 30, 2009
My good friend, Bobby Ray Harrall, was killed last week because he lit up a cigarette at a stop light at an intersection known for trouble. Seems he was playing "Pop, Pop, Damn" way too loud. His killer said what he heard sounded just like gunfire. Indeed, his killer was right.
Bobby Ray didn't really have it coming, but his killer may just walk on a self-defense plea.
A sad end to the larger than large life of Bobby Ray, and a very sad event for blunt, who made bullets for my birthday as a compendium of orchestrated gunfire, ricochet, and random pop pops.
The man who killed Bobby Ray thought he was returning fire. blunt thought they were making music from sound effects.
blunt has long loved games like doom and halo, naming tunes after them, and blunt has long loved the scene(s) in Magnum Force with Clint Eastwood (and David Soul) at the gun range, a scene which inspired the tune "target practice," and blunt has long loved the Men in Black scene where Will Smith shoots the eight year-old with the physics books, a scene which inspired the tune "preemptive strike": "comes the riddler * * * * bang bang."
blunthas apologized to the family of Bobby Ray and issued warnings to their fans on national TV where they promised to name their live-action shoot-from-a-car gun range after Bobby Ray as well as donate a percentage of their proceeds to the care of his children.
Jerry, the brother of Bobby Ray, has already secured a position as driver at the Bobby Ray Gun Park.
And be sure to give "blam blam" a listen if you think your ears can handle it.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Inspired by White Zombie, specifically the lyrics "more human than human," numan decided to develop freshener with the purpose of clearing the air about their recently exposed secret: they are the genetic replicas of The Beatles.
The numan members are, as they insist however, from different clone groups.
As part of a marketing strategy they were probably unaware until they read the news here, the numan members were raised in different environs in different parts of the world and carefully selected by their sponsoring company to form a kind of "boy band." Their sponsoring company, PKD, made the incidents that brought them together look like chance, but PKD carefully orchestrated their selection, and except for the deaths of everyone in clone groups 7, 8, and 11, left nothing to chance.
To numan, their clone status is a burden they want you to foreget about, but unfortunately or not, their lyrics attempt to be soulful tunes about "making a difference in a world of indifference."
Give them a listen, will you?
"I have your heart, but we're thirty years apart" and "immortality in a can" are worth the price of the album.
Have fun with this album: it's severe and offers something counterintuitive entire: flash card music.
flash card music is literally that: music that attempts to be visual. The tracks consist of quote-unquote, arrangements, whereby you the listener-looker arrange flash cards in call-out sequences. Yes, the flash-cards are preprinted and bundled with the album.
But for audio you won't be denied. The call-outs themselves are surprisingly phonic both vocally and instrumentally with brilliant tonal ranges, which serve to give the arrangements color: it's severe.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
So far, the only tune on this album goes something like,"Howdy, and welcome to Sixth Avenue, we're collecting for our cause." That's it. The tune is called "State of Affairs." The Republic of Texas promises to send you an updated album when more tunes are available. The band just needs your name and address.
‘Oliver & The Otters were a vast juggernaut, with fascinating harmonies and a villainous yet innocent take on life.’
From Liner Notes, back cover:
By 1971, the Rodent Invasion of the United States was at its peak. Oliver & The Otters were a vast juggernaut, with fascinating harmonies and a villainous yet innocent take on life. ‘Do Dylan’ was an album intended for release in October 1972, but was pulled at the last moment when the craze of high-pitched homage bands suddenly ended. This album of Bob Dylan songs was recorded in the ‘Do Dylan’ sessions of June-July 1972, and was rescued from a dusty studio vault by a brave and conscientous fan, Lenny Barnacle.
Listen to a snippet of 'All Along the Watchtower'
1. Like A Rolling Stone
2. Watching The River Flow
3. Send A Message To Mary
4. In My Time Of Dyin’
5. My Back Pages
6. Stuck Inside of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again
7. Subterranean Homesick Blues
8. Blowin’ In The Wind
9. Mr Tambourine Man
10. Highway 61 Revisited
11. The Times They Are A-Changin’
12. All Along The Watchtower
13. Don't Think Twice, It’s Alright
All tracks are © Copyright Bob Dylan except
#3 (F. Bryant, B. Bryant) & #4 (Arr.B. Dylan).
headache on vacation returns with aspirin, but besides the cover tune, there's also "cancel that credit card," "honey, the kids just ordered room service--again," "fifty percent gratuity," "the rental car company just called," "that was a four star restuarnat?", "everybody up--free buffet!", "ice bucket, ice bucket," "it's raining," and "red tide." You might want to pack the Gas-X and the Pepto-Bismol too especially now that your hotel room smells like coconut suntail oil.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Crik is the band that brings big sounds from a little town near the Oklahoma-Texas border. In 2002, the band swore off drinking and took up jogging. This change in lifestyle saved the band members not only money, but prison time. In 2003, the band swore off TV, even cable and satellite TV, and decided to take more community college courses, especially creative writing. The Pay-Per-View bill was getting obscene, and this change eliminated it. Their lyrical output, however, quadrupled.
Meanwhile, the Crik fan base was growing bigger than the local bingo hall could hold. Then, in 2004, the band campaigned heavily for the wrong political candidate and lost most of their audience. By 2006, most of the band had graduated from community college, and their diligent high school counselor, Shirlee Rains, had helped them obtain scholarships to state universities. The band broke up unofficially in 2007, but then, this tune hit the radio in July 2009:
Of anything you accomplish
And all you will never be
The creek bleeds aluminum
The mettle of our industry
As of July 2009, everyone from Crik but the drummer had graduated from a four-year college, had a corporate job, and was working on a marriage (for the most part, the second one).
With the local radio stations playing their tunes from 2004, the band quickly put out Crik in August 2009 and began touring local bingo halls in September 2009. Be on the lookout for them.
What could be more tourist alluring than a giant ball of twine at an all-you-can-eat nacho buffet, a mission control center emptied of all control personnel but still operational, a grilled cheese sandwich and chocolate shake at a pharmacy that serves experimental prescriptions, and the list goes on and on. Indeed, these little trips are what lurelore is all about. Witness "Edgar Allan Poe's Haunted House with Topless Delight" on the cover. Come in and discover Americana served up David Lynch style in a place where Alfred Hitchcock is lurking.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
mention downtown daze, and most critics wil say that it is a band that continues to nurse old wounds to which downtown daze responds with "let it fester" and a series of "curb rhapsodies" including "splish splash revival." Perhaps the most telling piece in the most recent series of tunes from downtown daze is "you can't afford to live here" followed by "where it isn't, go home." My current favorite is "truth newsreel, a la John Dos Passos."
Several paparazzi recently learned not to hum the tune, "you don't have to call me darling, darling," around the band darling as stiletto heels to the scrotum can be quite painful.
darling has a top ten hit (if there are such things as top ten hits anymore) with the song "no treat":
you got her satin sheets
and you still want your meat
you're a bad dog
Be sure to check out "liquor and high heels" and "nasty," two of my favorites.
"don't you have more sense than that to listen to a bunch of crazy people like that" is what Erica said her mother said when she first listened to sadly.
I have to agree with Erica's mom: sadly is a bunch of crazy people with a bunch of crazy people concerns.
Illustrative of crazy people concerns is "butterfly attack" where sadly laments an attack of butterflies that led to a headache that led to a visit to the hospital. I must say, however, that the use of cello on this tune is impressive, as impressive as say a remix of Led Zepplin with cello.
If you want to drive your friends crazy, be sure to play "cutter" for them. As the song says, "self-inflicted wounds can put you in a tomb."
You have been warned.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Fashionetts are back with their new album devoted to Paris.
They bring us 10 new tracks in their unique sound and style so hurry and check it out!
You'll know why music and fashion world were anxious to hear this one...
Once Upon a Time in Paris brings:
1. Oh la la!
2. Christian D.
3. Miss Cinèma
4. He Was Watching Me
5. Deux Blondes
6. At the Jazz Club
8. By the River
9. Mr. Eiffel
10. Devenir gris
Thursday, October 22, 2009
quicker than liquor gone sleeping in stairways
boop like a blit in the transcendental airways
slurping the liquid sticky on our back shack
a jello from outer space grooves a flow tack
down in the out all about the flavor take it
when drones explode this remix now let's bake it
suburban metaphysical is all about you and your chemical lawn, and the chemical dawn, and the parasol you can buy when the ozone is low, and how to protect your garden hose. Here's a slice of "wonderland":
when I pulled into the drive
the kids were on the lawn
looking for bugs, and I don't mean
the electronic kind
it wasn't the usual catch and kill
it was all film
I heard, "the Lady Bug shall be Alice,
and the anthill her palace"
And for Tom T. Hall fans, there's a re-mix of "Old Dogs, Children, and Watermelon Wine."
You're only just a garden hoe away from nature department so break out your wheelbarrow, root up your lawn, and start looking for the critters that are still alive.
On October 15, 2009, Randy "Razor Lick" Randall accidentally killed himself while experimenting with fireworks in his garage. mayhem sounds was to have titled this album phosporesce, but changed the album title just before today's release to razor lick, a tribute.
mayhem sounds fans are doubtful that the band can go on without Randy "Razor Lick" Randall. Indeed, critics have already compared his guitar play and stage energy to that of Randy Rhoads, and that kind of energy is difficult to find.
Nevertheless, every track on this album is slated to make number one on the charts:
1) last light
3) the first broken window
4) don't fall down
5) flare run and gun
6) sweat out
7) hostage taker
8) the reaper of screams
9) nervous check
12) out of luck
14) love in vain
Check out these eerie lyrics from "flare run and gun":
when I met you last you were young
you wanted children
but I wanted to run and gun
it's cold as the faraway stars fade
now, my flare gun won't shot straight
and I'm alone, and I need a home
and you have a warm place
Or check out this part of "last light":
no one can hang out at bars anymore
the drinks are too expensive
and the insurance costs immensely
before there's a last light
As my good friend Grant Hiram used to say, "Killer!" It's a killer album, too bad it's also a grand finale for a tremendous talent like Randy "Razor Lick" Randall.
Randy "Razor Lick" Randall was buried in Mesquite, Texas October 21, 2009. Services were held at First Baptist Church, Mesquite, Texas.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Originally, this album cover confused philandering at the office fans for the usual superchared vixen, scantily clad and situated in an almost pornographic pose (leaning over a desk ... ), does not adorn it. This change in cover, however, does not mean that the band found religion--after all, the lyrics on this album are hardly feminist.
Fans have rightly assumed this change has something to do with the recent divorce of lead singer Luken Peeple from his supermodel wife Bea Lustig. Indeed this seems so, since Bea posed for the first five album covers.
Another noteworthy fact: The use of the word "bitch" is down from last year's superbitch album count of fifteen instances per minute to one instance per minute in by the short heirs. Fans have rightly assumed this change has something to do with the recent divorce of lead singer Luken Peeple from his supermodel wife Bea Lustig.
As for the cover, an almost native American cluster of feathers and strings bursts free of a bright orange silhouette.
Not sure what this orangified energy signfies, but those strings are not hairs (nor heirs, as the pun would have it), but the glorious symbolic detail of the totem of recompilation abstraction. "Huh?" you ask. Bea Lustig was also on the sixth album cover for philandering at the office, but due to a divorce-related lawsuit, her sixth cover did not happen: lawsuit=recompilation.
The current cover belongs with the tune "she-eagle," but as the cover tune "by the short heirs" goes, "she gave you short heirs, and she has you by your short heirs, and she gave you gray hair, and she has you by the short hairs." In other words, Luken Peeple pays Bea Lustig $50,000 a month to visit his children for five days a month.
Totally confused? Here are the lyrics to "she-eagle": "she plays all the old men, she cajoles and threatens and lets her eagle fly, she plays the old women, she cajoles and threatens and lets her eagle lie, but why? she's no good for the tribe."
philandering at the office has moved through their careless twenties and all the sex, drugs, and rock and roll they could handle to their early thirties with full-on social theory in the making. Sad to say, but philosophy is so often the death of rock and roll.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
orange sun night is a hardcore dissociation album featuring raindrop keyboards mixed with brush snare and tender oboe. It's an album of disproportions, of mixed signals, of up and down. The music works against a series of violently crystalized lyrics popping into the drift like shiny metallic grasshoppers against a linoleum campsite. The fire on the floor is LED and bright as eggwhite.
All too often, indeed as part of the closing parade and grand finale, you will be tempted to eat your own head as though it were a delicious sugar mushroom cloud muffin made of cranberries and Southern Comfort. Don't do it. Your wound will only be soldered shut with a near absolute zero cake icing dispenser.
"beware brittle fingers" is the way the album begins: "Toy girl dolls in mini-skirts and neon/Mouths them needling shut and open the door/With razors." The sound engineer even added a Johnny Depp giggle to the "Cinderalice in Boom-Boom Land" track. It's messed up.
The long awaited album from nut country is here. my sister picks pecans features such tunes as "nutting honey," "nutter," "gone bowling," "better than sex pie," "lactose intolerance" and, of course, "my sister picks pecans."
my sister picks pecans
I see her across the field
With her new husband,
The best one I think.
They walk and bend over,
Picking aper shells scatered
Across the ground in the grass.
She stops and rests for a while,
Sitting on the boulder, watches
While her husband continues.
Sooner than later, their pail
Begins to fill with the pecan bounty.
These trees only bear fruit
Every other year, by design.
I think of my sister and the years
She married other men,
Wonder if there was a design.
Imagine this tune to banjo and harmonica and you have nut country.
Supposedly, my electric guitar pose originally performed as an air band, garnering third place in a well known national contest, before they became the band they are today.
And what can of band would that be? Indeed, the tunes on this debut album reflect a well honed poseur history:
1) behind my back
2) Jimi Hendrix style
3) The Who did this
4) Jimi Hendrix style with lighter fluid
5) Eric Clapton fast
6) Muddy Waters
7) name somebody
8) devil soul
9) guitar contest
10) thick chord
11) Stevie Ray Vaughn
13) angels play mandolins
14) getting Spanish
15) Trixie (Speed Racer riff)
But what does this band sound like? Blues and hard rock mainly.
THE DENTISTS: Hot Swinging Tunes Sung by a Cabal of Toothless Old Men
1) The Gentle Hygienists (appreciative melodies)
2) Decay (a series of synthesized haws)
3) Haw, haw, haw (a fiddle and slap bass combo with relentless vocals a la ZZ Top)
4) Hee haw (a la It's a Wonderful Life, not the TV show)
5) Crooners (barbershop quartet about nothing in particular)
6) The Gentle Hygienists (very appreciative melodies)
7) Decay (a series of hoarse haws)
8) Haw, haw, haw (sounds of beer guzzling and relentless vocals a la ZZ Top)
9) Hee haw (Hee Haw Honeys)
10) Crooners (nothing in particular)
11) Raz Ma Taz (bubble tongues)
Monday, October 19, 2009
bridal hand reaches out for you and pulls you in to a marriage with the earth: "beneath the street, beneath the rebar and concrete, there's dirt that wants to warm you." bridal hand puts a ring finger in your mouth and rubs your teeth: "you gave me a ring, I want you to sing, sweet nothing." bridal hand grabs your ear and tugs until you listen: "the coffee's on aisle ten, get some."
Welcome to the musical playground of the royal family of rarified elegance.
Before I even heard of nefertiti (the band), I heard the tune "pyramids": "Are you ready to be buried with your king? Dress up nice for death. We must be going." The lilting of the music was like a paper cut from a sheet of thin glass made from hot sand blowing fast across across my exposed eardrums.
When I first asked the name of the band after hearing this tune, of course, the comment I heard in the dorm was, "Only constipated headholes listen to flute." But there's much more than flute to nefertiti, and personally, I think more than wine sipper-cheese eaters might adore this album.
Indeed, gravitas has its monastery music (mostly Latin chants) and a smattering of ancient instrumentals including a thrilling tune called "thrombosis" that features shofar.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Replete with night noises, eerie sounds, a true photo section, this album contains a classic alien-encounter interview. The cover of this album itself is proof that alien life does, indeed, exist, and the album contains interview after interview with a list of locals who experienced the alien firsthand. We'll be happy to send you copies of signed certificates attesting to the fact that the object pictured on the album cover is alien.
The chief and eponymous interview, however, is the one with the Wizard of CH. You'll be convinced of all things alien by the time you are done with his explanation. Be sure to start with the Power Point file in the the true photo folder so that you can understand the photo and the science behind its explanation.
I cannot tell you how happy we are to have an interview with the Wizard of CH recorded for posterity. Not that the interviews with the locals, especially the one with Reverend Billy, are not special because they are special, but because the Wizard of CH is so highly respected by alien enthusiasts like you.
In order to interview the Wizard of CH, Harold Reginald had to agree to be called "Obsequious Neophyte."
Here are just a few of the questions Obsequious Neophyte asks the Wizard of CH:
Question: Are you using your time warping powers to facilitate these things?
Answer: I wish that were true. I'm fairly old fashioned still using my lucky dousing rods to rule the world.
Question: Do you have lightning scars on your wrists? I hear demonfire elctro-plasmatic blowback can be miserable. Did you know that certain wizards advocate using wrists supports like bowlers use? Now, is that cheating?
You may be asking yourself, "What about the interview that demonstrates the photo on the cover is proof of alien life?" Well, if you're curious, buy the album.
There are over one hunderd-sixty alien life photos, over two hunderd picutres of interviewees, and seventy-five photos thrown in gratis.
Fresh from a stay at a combination summer spa and recording studio in an undisclosed location, but presumably located in the south of France, gypsy girls are back with that look.
You may be saying to yourself, "But didn't gypsy girls release an album with that title last year or the year before?" The answer would be "yes."
Here's the tune that went straight to number three on the pop charts, "we share a mask": "we're like a team, not really like twins/and we like to play tag/we share a mask/just don't ask."